i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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