you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
