is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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