DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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