Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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