her vagine was all disorganized.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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