Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
