TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
