at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
