9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
