Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
