i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
