Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
