We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
