dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So much rum. So many feels.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
