Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
