I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
