my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
