brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
