Can Purell be used as lube?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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