I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize