I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
