are you still at the devil's house?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
