You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
