Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize