My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
