i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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