I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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