Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
