oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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