Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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