Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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