My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
