4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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