You really coming over, don't trick.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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