you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
