im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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