Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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