Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
