omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
