Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
