You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
And then he peed in my hair
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
