I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
