But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he thought i was a dude.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
