What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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