PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Damn victory sex feels great
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
