I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
