Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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