we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
