i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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