he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
