she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
