someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
