I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
