therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
