i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
