I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize