I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
