some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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