hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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