I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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