that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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