I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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