oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
