I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize