Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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