no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
