dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
