Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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