weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
