remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
