On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
